Flush the Idea That the Bathroom Issue Is a Matter of Regaining Women’s Trust

So we must be prepared for the next wave of woke, which will slam into us like a tsunami, and with the same destructive consequences. Part of that effort involves trying to rewrite the history of what really happened. AOC and Jon Karl tried to write off the insanity of the late 2010s as “Woke 1,” and that it was over. Another tactic is this, pretending that women — I refuse to use the slur “cis women” — were magically okay with men in our spaces until some right-wing campaign changed our minds. 

Cis women used to tolerate and even accept trans women in their spaces – a privilege we worked decades to obtain.

But when some of us started acting entitled to be there, regardless of our presentation or behavior, we started wearing out our welcome.

We must regain their trust. pic.twitter.com/tLJkOEn4jw

— Queen of Nuance 👑 (@autumnrain80) August 13, 2026

No, the men who acted entitled and obnoxious about being there were, at least, honest. There is no trust to be regained, because his was never an issue of trust. This was an issue of privacy, of safe spaces, of being comfortable getting naked or talking about breastfeeding, or sharing our health concerns. 

Men wanted to invade these spaces not because they’re women, but because they get a sense of gratification, sexual or otherwise, about seeing women naked, hearing women talk about bodily functions, or intimidating women who have been victimized by men.

And “passing” (e.g. looking enough like a woman that people don’t know you’re a man) is not the issue here, either. In 99 cases out of 100, we know that a transwoman is a man. They are built with broader shoulders, bigger hands and feet, stronger jawlines. The bulge and the Adam’s apple give it away, too.

Several years ago, I was at my then-husband’s high school reunion. It was very obvious one of the attendees was a transwoman, and it was someone husband knew, and knew well. The look of horror on his face as he realized his classmate was now a “woman” (leaving behind a wife and large family in the process of “realizing” himself) is something I’ll never forget. It disturbed my husband greatly for a long time after the event ended.

While I don’t ascribe to the “all men are rapists” or “yes, all men” brand of feminism, I do know that there are higher instances of sexual assault and violence with these mentally ill men who say they’re females. “Gender-inclusive” polices in locker rooms and NHS wards have led to skyrocketing rates of assault. No one should be surprised by this; when the trans activist crowd calls women like me “TERFs” and say that we should be beaten, stabbed, or killed for telling them “no,” violence against us is a foregone conclusion.

Institutions and businesses do not have to make it so easy, however.

Respectability ≠ Passing.

It means recognizing the ways we could be threatening or seen as threatening to women, and minimizing that in women’s spaces.

You don’t need to pass to do that, but you do need to listen to women.

— Queen of Nuance 👑 (@autumnrain80) August 13, 2026

“You do need to listen to women.” 

How I wish they would. Because women, a vast majority of women, have said “NO.” Repeatedly. We have said we are not comfortable with men, even “passing” men, in our safe spaces. We have said “no” to the asinine, Orwellian language rules that reduce us to “inseminated persons” and “egg producers” and “womb owners.” We have rejected the notion that our safety and privacy is the price that must be paid to develop a “more tolerant” society.

All our protestations have fallen on deaf ears.

And framing this as an issue of regaining trust shows we won’t be heard any time soon.